What a crappy,crappy day

...What God giveth, He taketh away... How stupid that I got all of my hopes up about this school year. I was hoping to have a new chance, to start afresh being "his" friend and work up to girlfriend. I thought God was showing me that it was okay, that I actually had a chance to like him. But like the old proverb, what he gives, he's gonna take away. I don't think I am content to be a friend anymore, but what else can I do? I'm not going to go spout off to him my undying love, he'd think I'm insane. In fact, I think I am insane. So here is my chance to tell him my feelings without really telling him...here it goes.....I love you, and when I think about it, I think I always have. It's just been really hard to admit to myself. You brighten my day whenever I see you and I would do anything to see you happy, no matter what the cost to myself. You may not believe it, but look at all the past experiences we've had and tell me you can't tell my feelings for you. I love you for your smile, your laugh, that just-tousled hair, and most of all, your Christianity. Your fire for the God we've never even seen, but have felt, the way you lift up your hands in silent prayer, and the way you preach about hte word with such authority...I love you and the sad thing is no one is ever going to know, you are never going to know, and I am going to continue being your friend for as long as I live.